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“This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a ‘Kyaaaaaaaaa!’”

 

David leaned in his chair and peered carefully out his window, pulling the shade aside the slightest possible fraction. Dawn was just starting to insinuate its way into the sky. Not too much longer and the streets would be bustling with the activity of the morning commute. But for now, it was quiet. Safe. Sighing, he turned back to his computer—it was a small mercy that the end of the world had left the internet intact.

 

    1.       AnonyMouse

Remind me why I’m doing this again?

    2.       MapAnon

Because without more information, we’re just all going to get slowly picked off, and that’ll be that?

    3.       AnonyMouse

I meant this mission more specifically. What do food sources have to do with finding a cure? It’s a dead end!

    4.       WriteFag

There’s no way for us to know that, though. There’s just too much unexplained for us to write anything off. Hell, we know for a fact that nobody’s operating the power plants, but that’s not exactly stopping us now, is it? We can’t afford to just ignore something like this.

    5.       AnonyNEET

>Implying you just don’t want to be taken off glorious school duty.

     6.       AnonyMouse

>>4.

I can already tell you what we’re going to find, though. A bunch of sushi mysteriously appearing out of nowhere when you aren’t looking. It’ll be just like when all the buildings started being replaced. Sure, nothing makes sense, but it all doesn’t make sense in the same way. SciAnon should have more than enough data about that at this point. We’d be better off trying to confirm the existence of teachers than risking our lives for something we already know!

>>5.

Can you drop the gimmick just once? Please? You’re in weeaboo heaven and you’re just jacking it all the time. We get it already.

    7.       MapAnon

>confirming the existence of teachers

So, suicide, then.

    8.       AnonyMouse

Not if we planned it out! We just have to stop wasting time with this small ball crap.

    9.       AnonyNEET

>>6

It’s not heaven. Enforced ‘look, don’t touch’ is clearly hell.

Good thing I can manage, right?

    10.     SciAnon

AnonyMouse, I appreciate your reservations, but we’re going to be sticking with the mission. I think I’m on the verge of a breakthrough, and any piece of information helps, no matter how small. Once you get this done, I promise we’ll talk about your ideas regarding teachers, and see if we can’t do something about putting a plan into action. For now, though, we need to keep making progress.

    11.     AnonyMouse

Fine. I’ll report back later. But I’m going to hold you to that, you hear?

    12.     SciAnon

Wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

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    David looked out the window again, with less caution this time. Class would have already started by this point, so the streets—actually almost the entire city—would be clear. Nodding to himself, he climbed out onto the fire escape and clambered down to ground level. Sure, he was the only person in the decrepit tenement anyways, but any sign that somebody was living there—such as a mysteriously unboarded door—could attract attention that he couldn’t afford. Keeping a careful lookout, he began to make his way to the target, stopping from time to time to consult his map.

    He missed Chicago, he really did. When… whatever it was that had happened (WriteFag had taken to calling it the Japocalypse) happened, Chicago had fallen to it quickly. All the cities had, really. After all, who could have expected a plague that would spread with a single touch, which broke out worldwide all at once? There were a lot of conspiracy theories floating around on that front, actually. Government experiment gone horribly wrong was a popular one. Personally, David was inclined to think that it was all the fault of some pathetic weeaboo like AnonyNEET who got a wish from a genie and picked the worst possible one. No government program could have produced the reality warping effects that had turned most of Chicago into a bizarre facsimile of Tokyo. He knew it wasn’t even like real Tokyo had been—a year spent teaching English there had given him a good feel for the place. It was like the nebulous version of Tokyo that existed in anime, without the little idiosyncrasies of the actual place. It was straight out of somebody’s imagination.

    Finally, he arrived at the target, a sushi restaurant that reports indicated seemed to be particularly trendy. It was empty right now, but the doors were unlocked—that was one of the things that had taken some getting used to in this strange new world. Stores had normal operating hours posted, but the only people around would all be in class right now. So it would sit empty until the after-school part-timers arrived, but because it was *technically* open, it was unlocked. There was a certain twisted logic to this strange facsimile of an economy, even though at its root it made no sense.

    Still on high alert, he walked inside, and headed straight for the refrigerators. Empty, just like he’d known they’d be. SciAnon had a theory going that reality operated on a strange sort of anthropic principle now. Everything in the universe—the sun, earth’s distance from the sun, the atmosphere, and so on—had to be just so for human life to exist. Stated one way, humans came into existence because all those factors supported it. Stated another, all of those factors were the way they were because it was necessary for humans to exist. Like the universe had been made specifically for the purpose of mankind.

 

Now it existed for the purpose of anime schoolgirls. Food and clothing popped into stores out of nowhere. Free electricity coursed along power lines that mysteriously never needed upkeep. Buildings reconfigured themselves into entirely new configurations overnight. Bullet trains operated autonomously, flawlessly keeping their schedule. All for the sake of some unknowable purpose.

 

David closed his eyes, counted to ten then opened them again. The refrigerator was still empty. Whatever it was that ensured convenience in this world, it didn’t seem to work for the handful of guys remaining. Still, it never hurt to try. He tried closing the refrigerator, and then opening it. Rows upon rows of neatly-prepared fish stretched before him.

 

Shit.

 

He dashed from the restaurant, eyes wild. He had to get out of here before whoever it was showed up. He couldn’t afford to be found out. He had to get away, had to get back to his apartment, had to—

“I’m late!”

Just as he rounded the corner, he crashed into somebody and they both went flying. Dazed, David pulled himself up to his feet, not quite registering what just happened. He had to get back to the apartment before… before… he looked down.

The girl he’d run into had clearly gotten the worse of the collision. She was just now sitting up, her eyes rolling as she tried to get her bearings. She was cute, certainly—her black hair was cut short, held back with a pair of barrettes, and she wore the uniform of the school a few blocks away. Despite the impact, she still had a slice of toast in her mouth. David didn’t pay much attention to her appearance, though—when every single person you’d seen for a month was a cute schoolgirl, the whole getup started to lose some of its charm. What David was focused on was the fact that he’d just touched her. His fate was sealed, now. Maybe there was a narrow chance that he’d lucked out and not made any kind of skin contact, but he doubted it. He wasn’t about to spend what little time he had left deluding himself. The girl was getting to her feet now—regaining his composure, David took off at a sprint.

“Hey! Mister! You dropped your phone!” the girl was chasing after him now, waving his phone high above her head. David cursed, and ducked into an alleyway. He had to lose her. He might be a dead man walking, but he wasn’t going to just give up that easily. If he could just get out of her line of sight, he was confident he could shake—

The alley was fenced off halfway down its length. That hadn’t been there before, but that didn’t count for a whole lot these days. He had never been especially athletically inclined, but adrenaline had him up and over almost before he registered that it was there, sending a stray cat on the other side dashing from its hiding spot. The girl had just entered the alley, but at the sight of the fence, she hesitated and stopped.

“Um, I’ll just return this to you later, okay? I really need to get to class! My name’s Izumi, if you need to find me! Hashimoto Izumi!”

With a friendly parting wave, she was gone. For his part, David bent over, panting, before straightening up again. He had to report this. He didn’t have time to be sloppy anymore—if he didn’t calm down and act decisively, he wasn’t going to get another shot. A grim-expression on his face, he headed home.

 
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    13.   AnonyMouse

RIP me.

    14.   MapAnon

What happened? Did you get tailed back?

    15.   AnonyMouse

Worse. On the way out, I ran headfirst into a late student. Not sure how long I have left.

    16.   AnonyNEET

Did she have toast?

    17.   WriteFag

Fuck you, AnonyNEET, this isn’t the time.

    18.   Anonymouse

>>16.

What >>17 said. But yes.

    19.   MapAnon

Shit. Shit shit shit. This couldn’t have happened to a better guy. Fuck.

    20.   SciAnon

>>15

I’m… sorry to hear that. I don’t know what to say. I know I’m going to sound like a real shitlord for asking, but I’m still going to need your report, though.

    21.   AnonyMouse

I understand. It wasn’t anything we didn’t know, though. Didn’t seem to be anything in particular that set it apart from other restaurants, so its popularity must be pretty much random. I did almost get stopped by a fence on the way back, though. It doesn’t seem like something the girl who got me would’ve unconsciously thought of—if your Animethropic Principle (that name is still, and will always be, awful, btw) is right, this makes it feel like it’s less a thing specifically for the girl themselves than for the world as a whole. Sort of like an immune response where we’re the germs.

    22.   WriteFag

You’re awfully well spoken for a guy who’s… well… uh… dying.

    23.   AnonyMouse

Not like panicking is going to help anything, right? And hey, it’s not like zombies where I’d actually be dead, right? I’m just going to be… different for a while.

    24.   MapAnon

Just a while?

    25.   AnonyMouse

Well yeah. You guys’re gonna have a cure eventually, and I’ll be first in line for it.

    26.   SciAnon

I appreciate the faith you’ve got in me, but uh… that’s pretty optimistic there. We just don’t have the data at this point, and even if we did, restoring people to the way they were before just isn’t something I can even try to promise.

    27.   AnonyMouse

Right now I couldn’t honestly give less of a shit what body I end up in at the end of this. As for the data, well, maybe I can help. I’ve got the stream set up now, you all know the address. I’ll try and stay on that as long as I can. As for here… well, I guess this is goodbye. AnonyNEET, you’re still a complete shit. Stay safe, everyone.

 
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        David adjusted the webcam one last time, and then sat down on the couch. He briefly considered stripping off all of his clothes to make things easier to see, but decided against it. It was already getting harder to focus—random bits of information were falling in and out of his head, things he would know but that the world wasn’t ready to tell him just yet—fighting his new self’s urge to get dressed would just cut down on how long he could stay in put in the field of view. He did take off his coat and gloves, though, revealing a long tan blotch running along his left arm. He stared at it a moment, then looked up to face the camera.

        “Well, uh, hello everyone. This is David, but you probably know me better as AnonyMouse. Today we’re going to… going to… going to have something really special for you. So, uh… as you can see, it seems to have started at the skin. I was mostly covered up at the time, so there must have been a strip of exposed skin on my wrist, and that’s where contact happened…”

 Something about revealing it must have triggered something, like the infection knew it had been spotted and wasn’t going to bother with subtlety anymore. Warmth began to radiate from the tan patch, and it visibly darkened a tone before spreading more rapidly along his arm. The affected skin seemed to almost tighten, the thin layer of fat underneath giving way to toned muscle. At the same time, the warmth coursed up his shoulder and down to his stomach. Here, too, he could feel the fat burning away.

        “Well, this is… I can’t really describe how it feels. Warm. As you can… maybe see, it looks like I’m going to be pretty athletic. That… might be because I was last seen vaulting a fence and sprinting away, but I don’t think we can really afford to test that theory out. And… hah, I wasn’t looking but my coat’s a track jacket now. Blue and white… I don’t think those are the colors for the same school as the girl that got me… Heikin Gakuen, maybe? I’d have to check the uniform to really be sure, but if I went to my closet to check I don’t know that I’d come back… But yeah I’m sure that’s all changed by now too… My arm looks to be mostly done now… my fingers are definitely longer than before… and… yeah, I can feel it moving to the other—hurk!”

        David’s sentence was cut short as his ribcage suddenly compressed, forcing the air from his lungs. The warmth had become more intense, flaring up into an unbearable heat. He began to sweat profusely—it was getting hard to breathe. He tried to wipe off his forehead, only to encounter a lock of thick, bushy light brown hair fallen on his changing face. He contemplated it, trying to focus on it in lieu of what he could feel beginning to happen below his waist. It was getting hard to talk, between the heat and the mental pressure so intense it was almost physical, pressing against his eyes from inside of his head.

        “Heh… aheh. Is it… hot in here or just… me? Kind of wish I’d… thought to set up a mirror or something… it’d be nice to know how I… look. I can… hah… feel my hips shifting… my body hair’s all… retracting, too… feels… really weird. I’m… hah… going to put the jacket on... I know it doesn’t make sense but… I really…hah… feel like I should. And… just because I know… you’re all wondering… little David just… just said… goodbye.”

        As David picked up the jacket, an ID card fell out. He took a look at it as he pulled the jacket on—his jeans had become matching sweatpants, he noticed. When had that happened? Or had they always been that way? He shook his—or was that her, now?—head, trying to hold onto these last few moments. She could feel the final touches coming on… her breasts swelling, but soon stopping at a modest B. A single canine extended downwards, noticeably longer than the other. It was becoming a battle to keep her eyes opened, but she fought it hard. She knew when she opened them, the world wasn’t going to look the same.

        “M… Matsushita… Kaede…” she read off the card “Heikin Gakuen… I’m… a… a transfer student, starting tomorrow. When you… have things figured out… over there… you’d better come and… visit me, okay? You owe me, after all. NEET, you can… go… eat a dick. AnonyMouse, signing… out.”

 

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        Kaede blinked, and shook her head before getting up off the futon and closing her laptop. It had been fun catching up with her old friends after her jog, but it was time to face the future. She’d finally finished moving in to her apartment, and as soon as tomorrow she’d be starting at a new school, and with that came new friends. She frowned, thinking about her run. She really should have stopped to get her phone back from that girl—Izumi, wasn’t it—instead of chasing after that cat. What kind of first impression was that, anyways? Now everyone was going to think of her as that weird cat girl. Sure, she *liked* cats, but there were limits. She’d have to head that reputation off. Maybe she’d find Izumi after class got out, invite her to check out that one sushi place she’d spotted on her run. Yeah.

 

That sounded nice.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel kawaii.

Filled a neat request on /d/, felt inspired to write more. And now here we are.
:iconbduddy:
bduddy Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2016
Wow. Cool idea. What was the original request, if I may ask?
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:iconthemightfenek:
TheMightFenek Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is simply great champs, an amazing start for your account, and also very original.

Keep the good work fella!
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November 16, 2015
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